Things I am [not] looking forward/back to/on

Things I’m looking forward to about going home:

• Burritos
• Friends and family (sorry guys, it was a close call but you came in second to burritos)
• Being able to get around easily (i.e. drive)
• Starting Graduate school
• Barbecue (Piggy Blues BBQ to be exact)
• Cooler and less humid weather
• Finding my old clothing that is not in tatters
• Buying underwear my size (I don’t know if it’s my big booty, my thunder thighs, or something else, but I am NOT Malaysian proportioned in the swimsuit zone)
• Live Music, theater, dance, arts of all kinds
• Beer
• Toilet paper
• Potable tap water
• ELCA-style worship
• Recycling
• MPR

Things I’m going to miss in Malaysia

• Jireh Home
• Rommy, the driver for Jireh Home and my closest friend
• 100 Plus (an isotonic soda), Tuaran Noodles, crazy fresh fruits (I just ate another durian–mmm…), satay, laksa, nasi lemak, etc.
• Ridiculously beautiful foliage
• Ridiculously beautiful scenery, like Mt. Kinabalu and the South China Sea
• Cheap and frequent buses
• The relaxed pace of life
• Having tea time everyday
• Taekwondo
• Speaking Malay
• Meeting wild animals on a daily basis–herons, quails, horses, snakes, geckos, monitor lizard, dozens of other creatures I can’t identify
• Dirt cheap restaurants–meal and drink for $3
• Being called ‘Brother’ at Jireh Home
• Malaysian-style prayer
• Devotions every night at Jireh Home
• The most beautiful running route I’ll probably ever get to run on a regular basis
• Not having to tip
• Hanging my clothes up outside to dry
• Beaches
• Engrish (for example, “No paint, no gains.”)
• Not having allergies
• Night markets
• Pre-paid phone plans
• No carpeting

Things I’m not looking forward to in America

• Country music (I have not heard a single country song in 11 months and it has been glorious)
• Wastefulness
• Justin Beiber madness
• Vampire mania (what’s the deal with this fad???)
• TV
• Being super busy
• Still not having universal health care
• Email forwards
• Fox News, pundits, Sarah Palin
• Everything being expensive
• Social pressures in many aspects, such as dress
• People still debating Global Warming (it’s here folks, let’s deal with it)
• Car obsession
• Paranoia about not getting sued
• Guns
• Drugs

Things I’m not going to miss in Malaysia

• The climate and its consequences: constant sweating, frequent skin infections, constant bathing, heat rash, acne, sunburn, not being able to be outside from 10am-4pm.
• Justin Beiber madness (he’s everywhere!)
• Cockroaches
• Rice
• Being called ‘Orang Putih’–‘White Person’
• Being honked or yelled at on the road (though it’s always friendly, sometimes I’m just not in the mood).
• Bucket baths
• Water and/or electricity going out
• Difficulty to communicate with people back home
• Dogs chasing and barking at me (though the never ever try to bite; they’re just annoying)

Blind Faith

As my year of service in Malaysia comes to a close, I’ve been reflecting a lot on my experience and how it relates to faith.  Thinking of leaving makes me think of how I got here, too.   Ever since I applied for the Young Adults in Global Mission program back in December 2008, I’ve had little more than a vague idea of what I was getting in to.  If you would have asked me then if I ever considered living in Southeast Asia or teaching English or knew where Kota Kinabalu was, I would have given you a blank stare.  Interviewing for country placements in April 2009, I never actually thought I would be assigned Malaysia; I speak Spanish and have lived in Colombia before, so wouldn’t Argentina be the obvious choice? But believing things like this happen for a reason, I accepted my Malaysia assignment. Coming to Malaysia, I had know idea where I’d be living, what I would be eating, who or how many children were at Jireh Home and what they expected me to do there.  I just had to hold my breath, close my eyes, plug my nose (if there was durian around) and jump in.  I had to believe that I would be given the support I needed because I knew I couldn’t swim this race by myself. (Just ask anyone in my college swimming class where I was nicknamed “Flips” because I always had to wear flippers to keep up).  Moving to a new country without your old friends or family forces you to have faith.  If I didn’t completely trust in the people working with me, even though I just met them, I would have freaked out.  You are thrown into a whole new world, creating more anxiety than anyone could handle without the belief that things are going to be ok.

Being so far away with limited communications and a polar opposite time zone, had made staying in touch difficult too.  I have had little contact with many of my friends from home and my extended family. So when I have had difficult times here, this has increased my feelings of isolation and loneliness.  Life has gone on without me in the US; and although sometimes things move very slowly in relaxed Sabah, everyone at home remains busy.  Sometimes I won’t have a conversation or email exchange with loved ones for months on end.  If it weren’t for faith, I could easily become self-pitying and feel forgotten.  But I know deep in my heart that my loved ones back home are thinking about and praying for me.  I have proof of that by the fact that I’m about to finish this race, buoyed by their support.  So even though someone I miss may not have a good chance to contact me for a while, I know I am in their thoughts as much as they are in mine; and our relationship will pick up right where it left off when I return.  I can feel the support (thank you!).

I’m a good Lutheran in that I always have many, many doubts about my faith.  I especially struggle with the question of why God doesn’t give us indisputable proof of his existence? It would answer so many questions, bring so many to Christianity, and end the debate once and for all.  Of course S/He gives us lots of small-scale evidence daily, but it would be hard to argue with Bertrand Russell using proof the daily miracle of flowers and dimples.  My YAGM experience has given me a strong analogy for the blind faith I need to have in God.  Even though God isn’t going to appear to me and make my face glow like Moses, and my college roommates aren’t going to send me a Hallmark greeting card every week, I still know that they care for me.  And even though the Holy Spirit may not make me spontaneously speak in tongues like the Apostles (I still had to learn Malay the old-fashioned way), and most people can’t afford to call long-distance to Malaysia, I know their thoughts and support are keeping me afloat.  In the same way, I need to trust in everybody I work with and God to get me through the day.  Every moment is a new experience and everyday a new adventure.  Without faith, I would be playing video games in my parents basement right now.  I have had to trust everyone this year from the head of the YAGM program, Heidi Torgerson, and down to the 12-year-old that calms me down after meeting a 6-foot monitor lizard on our jogging route, and all the way up to God.  Without their support and my faith in that support, I never would have finished this marathon.  Any successes I have had this year, or ever, are hardly my own doing but the result a phenomenally large, complex, and beautiful structure of humanity and divinity.  And in this rock, I have blind faith.

Visitors

When Franklin Ishida from the ELCA stopped by Sabah on his tour of Asia a few months ago, he asked the Malaysia YAGMs what our favorite experience so far was.  It was a really tough question and an overwhelming proposition to have us think through soooo many new experiences and pick just one thing that stood out above the rest.  But I was suprised how quickly I came up with my answer: visitors.  I love having visitors.  At first, I felt really guilty about this because I’m sure the ELCA would rather here a story about an epiphany in my personal faith or a great moment or emotional bond I’ve developed with the kids I work with.  And believe me, I have had many, many of those.  But what really stands out to me is when I’ve had the chance to share those things with friends and family from home.

I have been very, very lucky to have had several visitors this year to keep me busy.  Right after Christmas, my lovely girlfriend Hannah came and visited; we spent time at Jireh Home and also found some free time to hiking/jungle trekking, snorkeling, and wildlife spotting.  In March, my friend Rob Greenland from Wisconsin came and helped us build a soccer field at Jireh Home.  In April, ELCA intern Peter Harrits, who is working in Kuala Lumpur, came over from West Malaysia to climb Mount Kinabalu with me.  And just this week, my mother, Holly, and sister, Anna, went back home after a visiting me here in Sabah.  My mom was here for over three weeks and my sister for about ten days, so it was a nice long visit making it worth the long travel.

The first week my mom was here, she joined my normal life at Jireh Home. She was a HUGE hit with the kids.  Though she doesn’t speak any Malay and many of the kids still struggle to make conversation in English, her relaxed, out-going, and positive demeanor made them feel comfortable with her right away and they warmed up to her.  And this is actually really rare in their culture; many Malaysians, I find, are very reserved, shy, and slow to trust new people.  Of course it helped that my mom brought games and we had a blast showing them how to shoot rocket balloons, or start their glow bracelets, or play UNO.  My mom also helped with my English classes, making the kids introduce themselves and ask Holly questions.  And she played piano duets with some of my more advanced piano students.  She mentioned in her last blog, too, that since the kids were on school holiday but not home in their villages yet, we took a few kids each day on a special outing.  Nothing extravagant, but any chance to get out of Jireh Home is exciting.  We went to a waterfall one day, a pagoda, an aquarium, a crocodile farm, and Sabah’s traditional Harvest Festival.  Holly also helped me coach a choir of Jireh Home kids that were preparing to perform at a benefit dinner for donors of JH from England.  She got them to loosen up for “La Bamba” (which I taught them earlier) by telling them it’s a sexy dance so they have to shake their hips.  They thought that was hilarious and they were a lot less stiff and bored looking after that.  And she got them make sing the Christian ballad “Still” like a prayer instead of another song to sing at the top of you lungs.  It was a great week and I know JH would love to have my mom around full time.

The next week, my mom and I flew off to Vietnam for a vacation.  It was great to take a break from Malaysia for a while and experience a different culture.  The big difference I immediately felt was absence of Islam. Although the government is socialist in Vietnam, it still felt much more liberal and relaxed than Islamic Malaysia.  It was a liberating week.  We did a lot of fun things like snorkeling, I went SCUBA diving with my new license, rode motorbikes, ate a delicious $5 lobster cooked on the beach, windsurfing, etc.  We also did some more sobering things such as visit the War Remnants museum aboutt the Vietnam War.  It was very interesting to see the Vietnamese perspective on that atrocious genocide.  People are still suffering today from the land that was destroyed and the dioxin from Agent Orange that still lingers in soils and waters.

After Vietnam, Holly and I went back to Kuala Lumpur, the capital of Malaysia, where my sister joined us.  She missed her last flight and had to sleep in the Hong Kong airport to catch the next one, but she is such a good traveler, she took it all in stride.  We went to a two concerts–Randy Brecker at a jazz club, and the Malaysia Philharmonic Orchestra playing Mahler No. 1.  It was my first taste of really good live music in a long time and I relished it.  I met the Principal Trumpet of the MPO afterwards and we chatted; he knows from correspondence already because I auditioned and got on the sub list for the MPO.  We also went to the Lake Gardens to see a beautiful Butterfly Garden, but our main attraction was a pack of monkeys that took up residence nearby and were highly entertaining.

Back in Sabah, we relaxed, went snorkeling, went to a headhunter village and saw real skulls, and went to some hot springs.  Then it was quickly back to Jireh Home, this time with my sister.  The kids were very eager to meet Anna and to see my mom again.   We had a great last few days with the kids, including a trip to the beach with everyone.  Goodbyes were terribly teary and lasted longer than a Minnesotan goodbye.  Now I really dread when I have to leave.

Being able to share Jireh Home with loved ones is invaluable.  I can try to explain it and send pictures, but you really don’t understand until you visit it. Having people visit also renews my appreciation for this country.  Seeing things through their fresh eyes reminds me of interesting things I’ve long since taken for granted.  They also ask questions that I’ve since stopped asking.  They notice things like how no one wears their shoes indoors, or only use a spoon to eat (never a fork or knife), or the incredible vegetation growing everywhere that I have since taken for granted.  Visits kind of give you a new lease on your experience abroad.  It has been absolutely fantastic, and I’m so thankful to everyone and God for making visits possible.  So although ‘having visitors’ maybe isn’t the ELCA’s favorite answer to the question ‘what’s been your best experience?”,  I think I have good reason.  Visitors aren’t great because they provide an escape for me, rather, I get to take them into my world for a while.  I get to show them the wonderful kids I work with and the unique lifestyle I’ve adapted to in the Malaysian countryside.  It’s not about me getting to spend time with a Westerner (although that’s good, too), but about getting to guide a Westerner through the beauty and challenges of fantastic and wild Sabah. I wish I could share this experience hand in hand with everyone of you…but I guess a blog will have to suffice.

Another Dalager point of view

Guest Blog by Holly Dalager

I’m here!! At the advice of our former pastor and missionary friend, I decided to come halfway around the world to see first-hand what Jacob has been doing these last 9 months, to get to know the children he is working with, and  to acquaint myself with this beautiful country.  So, after months of planning, the trip is finally happening!  (Thanks, Karl for being so gracious in letting me come while you stay home and work!)

The journey was very long, but not as bad as I thought it might be.  I was able to sleep a bit during the longest flight, that being from Newark to Hong Kong (15 1/2 hours!).  The Hong Kong airport is extremely modern and navigable, so even though I was alone, it was easy to change money,  book a shuttle bus and check into my hotel without any problems.

Everything had gone as smoothly as possible until the last flight from Hong Kong to Kota Kinabalu, when we were detained on the runway for 90 minutes due to heavy traffic.  Oh well.  Jacob and I eventually had a joyous reunion with lots of hugging and tears!

My first impression of Malaysia is that it is as hot as they say…..and humid, too.  The weather is probably the biggest challenge Jacob has faced this year.  There really is not much relief from the heat, as only a few shops and malls have air conditioning.   The old, broken-down Ford van we ride around in has no air conditioning nor does the vent work.  It’s open windows only.   It cools off a bit at night, and sometimes when it is pouring rain.  (Yes, they have torrential rains that last several hours most afternoons.)  But enough about the weather — you’ve no doubt heard about that from Jacob.

Jacob’s residence is a nice house 1/2 mile from the Jireh Home.  He has beautiful tropical flowers growing in front and lots of fruits  around back.  His plumbing is less than ideal, but this is a third-world country, so my expectations were not high.

So far this week we have been taking 5 – 6 kids each day to a different outing.  This serves two purposes — Jacob is able to show me the main attractions while rewarding the kids and broadening their horizons.  The Jireh Home children are from the interior of the Borneo, and have had very few life experiences outside their villages.

The first day some of the kids went with us to the Harvest Festival.  Unfortunately we were rained out.  It was coming down like crazy for about 4 hours.  We watched traditional music and dancing, sampled some food, but finally were tired of dodging from one tent to another, waiting for the rain to subside, so we ran back to the van, dripping wet.

Tuesday we took another group to the town of Tuaran where we started the morning with bubble tea, then went to the Chinese pagoda and climbed to the top to see the view of Tuaran and the village where Jacob lives.  Out of necessity, we had to shop for new sandals for one of the boys because his kept breaking and he couldn’t walk.   They were the only shoes he owned.  Then we all shared noodles with pork

Wednesday we took some kids to a crocodile farm where we fed the poi fish, watched a show and cheered on Jacob as he attempted to dance between the moving bamboo poles.  We also had ice cream bars with red beans in the middle.

Yesterday,  others went with us to a beautiful waterfall.  Those kids are like little agile monkeys, climbing all over the wet, rocky and uneven surfaces with no problem.  (My mom would have had a nervous breakdown if she had seen them!)  They had a blast diving into the deep parts and swimming around.

Today was the “mystery tour” for those who were brave enough to select that outing.   We drove to an aquarium, which was just one room filled with tanks of coral, sea turtles and fish.  Since that didn’t take long, we ventured way out to an orchid farm.  We saw a few really amazing flowers and hiked up and down in the Borneo hills looking at orchids.  Unfortunately for us, the flowers are more prolific during the dry season — we are definitely still in the rainy season.    Afterward, we ate lunch in a halal cafe before heading back.

I brought along several toys and games, such as friendship bracelet kits, screaming balloon rockets, UNO cards, etc.  Everything has been a big hit with the kids.  It’s so fun to see their joy when they receive something so simple.  They were absolutely thrilled to each receive a glow bracelet, and they love playing UNO with me.  Jacob had also asked me to bring the Playstation, so he is excited to get that going.

The children at the Jireh Home (“for underprivileged, abused and neglected children”) really like Jacob.  They call him “brother” (actually it sounds more like “bruddah“) and it is fun to see him interacting with them.  They like to joke around, but also they respect him.  He has taught them many Christian songs which they love to sing, has improved their English and taught several of them to play the organ and guitar.

My impression of the kids is that they are fairly well-behaved and respectful.  They know what their duties are and don’t seem to complain (although I don’t speak Malay, so who knows what they are babbling about?!).  At mealtime, nobody takes a bite of their food until everyone has gotten their food and chair, and is seated out on the patio.  Then someone says “pray” and they all bow their heads to pray silently.  Then the same child says “amen” and they all begin to eat.  Each one has his/her own plastic plate and bowl and cup.  They wash their own dishes in a long sink after each meal and set them on a rack to dry.  Different children help clean the tables and sweep after each meal and snack.  They wash out their own uniforms after school and take showers before dinner.

I’m sweaty all the time……nevertheless, I’m having a great time.  I’ve seen lots of smiles and pure joy.

Jacob has sacrificed a lot to work here.  In addition to taking a year out of his young life, he also spends a portion of his own meager stipend to help facilitate special experiences for a few kids each month.  And it is amazing to hear him speaking Bahasa Malaysia fluently, having learned it in a few short months.   He is truly doing an excellent job with the kids and the staff here, and  I believe his presence here this year will leave a lasting impression in the lives of these disadvantaged children.   I’m so proud of my son! (Don’t you dare edit this out, Jacob!)

Physical Feats

It seems like all the other YAGMs have amazing stories of their physical feats–running marathons, scaling walls, fighting flesh-eating zombies, etc.  I’ve felt left out, but now is my time!  April was a really fun month of physical challenges.  One weekend, another YAGM, Erika Randall, and I decided to get SCUBA certified.  It’s really cheap here and is a much more interesting place to get certified than a lake in Minnesota.  So after a day in the classroom, we headed to the waters of Tunku Abdul Rahman National Marine Park.  We learned skills, like how to take off and on you mask underwater, how to find your air hose if you lose it, and, most importantly, how to surface if for some reason your oxygen fails.  It was really fun.  And the best part was that by doing it in the marine park, we actually got to see marine life while we were training.  We saw coral, swam under a school of jellyfish, two sea turtles, clown fish, and hundreds of other fish and creatures I couldn’t name or explain in words.  It was great.  After two days in the water, I was exhausted, my ears were sore from the pressure, but I was pumped about the underwater new world I had discovered.  Sorry, no pictures.  I don’t have an underwater camera or underwater camera skills (that’s another training course).

At the end of the month, Peter Harrits, and ELCA intern doing his internship in Kuala Lumpur, came to Sabah to climb Mout Kinabalu with me.  Mt. Kinabalu is a little over 4,000 meters, making it the highest point in Southeast Asia (if you don’t count the island of Papau which is half Indonesian, but really belongs more to Oceania geographically).  It’s a two day journey.  The first day you hike up and up and up to the Laban Rata Resthouse just over 2km from the peak.  Rest the afternoon and get to bed early for an early rise the next morning.  I got up at 1:40am to begin the summit climb.  It’s an exciting climb up enormous granite slabs, holding on to the ropes and scrambling in the light of the moon.  I reached the peak at 5:30, just as the sun was rising.   It was chilly, clear day without much wind.  From the top you can see all the way back to Kota Kinabalu and beyond.  It’s a stunning view and definitely worth effort to make it to the top.  Coming down is actually where it gets really tough.  The stress on your knees and ankles is really intense, and by the end, there are few people whose legs are shaking and weak.

The very next morning, I ran the 10km race that was part of the Borneo International Marathon.  It was crazy to do the day after climbing the mountain, but it’s very hard to schedule climbs on the mountain, so it was my only choice if I wanted to race.  And I did.  I’ve been running a lot, and I needed to test my progress.  Another early rise–4:30am–to start the race before the blazing tropical sun made it dangerous to run.  I stretched a ton the night before, and was feeling pretty good during the race.  After starting the back of a few hundred runners, I started to pass people as my legs gave their last effort to hold me up and moving.  I was passing people the whole way, feeling good, and enjoying the challenge.  In the last 200m, I caught up to the guy in front of me, and the small crowd in the stands went crazy and we went neck and neck to the finish.   I think I beat him.  Somehow, by the end, I placed 5th in my category (Men’s Open) in 54:14.  It’s not an amazing time, but considering where I started in the back and the mountain climb, and how hot it is here, I feel good about it.

Lastly, I joined the Tuaran Taekwondo club in April.  I’m really bad at it.  My sister was better at Karate than me when I was a kid and I was so jealous.  I haven’t gotten any better at martial arts, but it’s really fun.  I go with Rommy, the Jireh Home driver, 3 times a week and work on my kicking and punching on the cement floor under the coach’s stilted house.  It’s soooo hot without any fans and my feet always bleed, but I’m making friends there, making it totally worth it.  Recently, they invited me to a karaoke party.  I tried to sing in Dusun and succeeded only because everyone was a bit too tipsy to take the microphone away from me.  And I tried “bahar” which is moonshine made from coconut tree.  The tree, not the coconut.  It tastes…It’s strong.  Alright, I’m rambling now, so I’m going to end this blog.  I’ll be joining a Taekwondo tournament at the end of June, so send your prayers my way that I learn to balance before then.  Have a good one!

Graduate School

I haven’t written about graduate school yet because I didn’t think it was relevant to my blog because my blog is supposed to be about my volunteer work.  But this has been a big part of my life aside from my volunteer work during my time in Malaysia.  And I feel that the process of applying to graduate school has been just as much a part of God’s plan as working for Jireh Home.

Before coming to Malaysia, I never planned on applying for a Master’s program starting in Fall 2010.  I new it would be too difficult to apply from overseas, especially for music, which usually requires a live audition.  I planned on just practicing a lot on my own, trying to hone my skills and apply for school or playing jobs when I get back to the US.  But soon after I arrived in Malaysia and discovered I would not really have any musical outlets, I realized that I did not want to spend another year in the US after volunteering here without being surrounded by music.  I want to be engulfed in music and musicians again as soon as possible. (By the way, I like music. A LOT.)

So by October 2009, I started emailing dozens of schools, asking if they accepted recorded auditions rather than live auditions for their Master’s of Music in Trumpet Performance programs.  To my surprise, all but one were willing to accept a recording over a live audition if I was far enough away (Malaysia qualified as far enough).  Having never really researched graduate schools before and not having the chance to visit the schools, I relied heavily on the help of my undergraduate professor, Dr. Martin Hodel’s, advice, which was invaluable.  I finally was able to narrow it down to five schools–Northwestern University, Eastman School of Music, New England Conservatory, University of Michigan, and Arizona State University.

I spent most of my free time in October and November researching schools, applying, and practicing my butt off.  I knew that to compete with the live auditions, which is highly preferred, my recording would need to be close to perfect.  Applying was far from easy to do from abroad.  Thankfully, most of the applications are online now, so when I had internet, that was easy.  But getting transcripts and letters of recommendation was more challenging.  St. Olaf College, my alma mater,  requires a signature and in-person pick-up for its official transcripts.  I, of course, could not do that.  It was only because I had volunteered to take the “College Learning Assessment” that I had received 5 free official transcripts just before graduating that I was able to do this.  I had just enough to send to my five chosen schools.  The only challenge was explaining to my mom where they were in my room.  Letters of recommendation were not too hard, but because I was not able to pick them up myself, I had to ask the authors to mail the letters themselves.  Practicing was a challenge, too.  Living in a small room in Jireh Home with only a stand fan, I would usually end up in my underwear and covered in sweat by the end of my 3-5 hour practice session.  And this was the first time I had to prepare for a big audition without a teacher.  Thankfully, Marty Hodel and St. Olaf College had prepared me enough to do this on my own.  I had to navigate many different audition requirements and figure out how to combine them as much as possible in order to make my practicing efficient.

By December 1st, all the applications were due and one of the five recordings.  But I had mission trips to Sandakan and Sipitang (see post on December 15) starting the last two weeks of November.  So I had to be done early.  And the biggest logistical challenge standing in front of my was how to make a recording.  All the schools required DVDs, not just CDs.  I have an audio recorder, but no way to get video.  Just in time, though, Philip Baker, who works for ELCA Global Missions and is based in Kuala Lumpur, came to visit me because happened to be in Sabah and had some time.   Without any idea knowledge of me applying to schools and needing some way to record, he mentioned before he came, “I might bring my friend Jon with.  He’s has a recording studio.”  What?!? You know a recording engineer in Kota Kinabalu?!?  Phil got me introduced to Jon, who was really nice, owns his own studio, and was able to record audio AND video at a professional level.  And the best part was, because he is also a man of the church (he works for Alpha), and sympathized with me being a volunteer sent by the church, he gave me a huge discount.  I could not have otherwise afforded his recording studio.  Jon was also nice enough to mail the recordings off for me because the next day, I left for Sandakan.  I don’t think it was by chance that I met Jon.

Having sent one recoding in, I had 4 more to send in January.  Jonathan wasn’t available in January , and I decided that this time, I’d rather record on my own schedule.  By fate, another volunteer happened to mention she had a small handheld video camera.  And with the help of two other friends, and a friend of Jon’s, I was able to get good microphones and microphone stands and cables.  I rigged up a complicated array of cables, the camera and my Zoom H4 audio recorder (which my mother suggested I bring at the last minute before I left the country) in the “music room” of Sabah Theological Seminary.  My power supply to the audio recorder was fried, but a friend happened to have the earlier model of my recorder with a local power supply.  It was a very complicated set up, but amazingly, after borrowing bits and pieces from about 5 different people, it worked.  I recorded for a few days, and amazingly it worked.  I was able to mix it all down on another volunteer’s laptop (since the camera required an Apple).   I got my new recording off to all the schools just in time.

There was no way all of this was possible because of serendipity.  There were so many times when it looked like I had no solutions and then someone would say something like “Hey, I have this recording device, do you have a use for it?” or “I have a friend who rents recording equipment out, but I can get him to give it to you for free,” “Yes, you can borrow my key to the music room,” etc.  I strongly felt the presence of someone greater than us guiding the whole process.

Then the waiting.  From the day I sent the last recordings, I waited 3 1/2 months to hear from all the schools.  Even in the results, I felt God’s presence guiding me.  I was rejected at Arizona, waitlisted at Northwestern and New England Conservatory, and accepted at Eastman and U of MI.  The choice was made easy.  I almost didn’t apply to Eastman because I was completely intimidated by it.  It’s the biggest name I applied to.  I never thought I would get in. Thanks to Marty Hodel who insisted I apply there. As fate would have it, I was accepted and given more financial support there than any other school.  If I had been accepted to more schools, I would have had a very difficult time deciding because I never visited or really met any of the teachers.  So I am grateful the decision was easy, and I believe that Eastman is definitely the right choice for me.  It’s the best all-round school I applied to, with good jazz, composition, and trumpet program.  I’m also excited to be in New York state.  The only challenge will be their early fall semester start time–3 weeks after I get home from Malaysia!

Although this isn’t related directly to my volunteer work, it has been a big part of my life this year.  And I have strongly felt God’s presence in this process just as much as in my volunteer work and the people I’ve met here.  I’d like to publicly thank Marty Hodel for his constant support and wisdom (even though I’m no longer paying him as my teacher); Dr. Dave Hagedorn, Dr. Timothy Mahr, and Marty again for their letters of recommendation and support; my mom for taking care of transcripts and dozens of other miscellaneous tasks at home; Philip Baker for introducing me to Jon; Jon for his generosity and recording skills; Yap Ling, Hezekiah, Ellen Hilger, Erika Randall, Roger Wang, and Kelsey Mackareth for lending me equipment I desperately needed; and my friends, family, and girlfriend, Hannah, who supported me though this whole process that was too much for me to handle on my own.

It rained! It rained! It rained!

Thank you for your prayers!  It rained for the first time in over 2 months yesterday.  It was just a sprinkle, but it was a huge relief.

The Passion of the Minority

One thing I noticed right away and have been inspired by here in Malaysia is the passion of the churches here. Unlike back home in the States, where memberships are flagging and most Christians are highly secularized, the churches in Malaysia keep an evangelical fervor. I believe this comes out of necessity. In America, Christianity remains the majority religion and is accepted by the government. This security makes it easy to become passive or lethargic about faith. In most places, you could safely proclaim your faith without much fear or much conviction. Here in Malaysia, however, Christianity remains a minority to Islam, and Islam is the official national religion. Islamic law, such as caning people for having a beer, is still upheld. Christianity is not illegal, but it is strongly discouraged. To say you are a Christian in Malaysia is a much more significant claim. It is scary to say, so you have to have conviction.

The churches are passionately evangelical. They are constantly reaching out to tribes yet unreached in the interior of the state. They are building new missions, new churches, ordaining new pastors and lay people at an astonishing rate. They reach out to immigrants through worship and through such means as educating the illegal children who are not admitted to public schools. They feel that the government (and this is true to an extent) is using cheap tactics to increase the Muslim population and therefore their demographics and voter base. The government essentially bribes people to convert by giving them job priority, educational priority, cash and all new household appliances (with the reasoning that they had all be tainted by unclean foods, such as pork). Some people also claim they are very lenient on illegal Muslim immigrants and allow them to enter and/or give them permission. I don’t know if this is true, but I do know it is very difficult for foreign non-Muslims to get residency. So the churches combat the government’s Islamization with Christian evangelism.

I also see the passion of the Christians in Sabah in the seminary students that I meet, especially the indigenous and Burmese students. They have all overcome great odds just for the chance to study at a seminary. They are virtually bankrupt and have fund-raised by pleading with friends and family to give them money to attend seminary. Some of the Burmese students have even fled oppression from the Myanmar government. One of my friends from Myanmar hasn’t seen his wife and five kids in years because he cannot afford to travel back home. He has committed to study theology in Sabah and will not be able to go home until he has completed his degree. That is religious commitment that I have rarely seen at home.

I am not saying this to compare and put down Christians in America. I honestly don’t even know if it is necessarily better to be more zealous. But I do know that that is what is required here in Malaysia. And I think we could all use at least little bit more passion in our faith. Just try to imagine for a second if you were in the minority faith and you were constantly being challenged by your own government. Would you stand up for your beliefs like Sabahans?

The Ultimate Blog Post

I can’t believe it’s been three weeks already since my last blog.  These past few weeks have been crazy and flown by.  I haven’t had any time to digest all that has happened, so this will be a rambling, stream-of consciousness blog.  If you like a thesis, order and coherency stop reading now.  Make sure to check out the new pictures and the brand new VIDEOS page.

INDONESIA:

So right after my last blog, I headed to Indonesia for a retreat and visa renewal trip.  I went with my YAGM group and country coordinator and her husband, the “Bishop” as he is called even by his wife.  We went to Jakarta, Bandung, and Cirebon.  I realized that although I have lived in 3 countries before this and traveled to more than a dozen other countries, this was my first time in the Southern Hemisphere.  The water swirled the wrong way,  and I felt dizzy the whole time.  Ok, just kidding.  It was the beginning of Chinese New Year when we went.  Indonesia does not have a large Chinese population.  And the Chinese that are there are very Indonesianized (if I can make up a word) by years of government pressure to conform to Indo culture and language.  So it wasn’t a big deal there.  But our country coordinator is one of the few Indonesian-born Hokkien Chinese, so we joined her family reunion for this week.  Like all the Chinese celebrations I’ve experienced so far, the main focus is eating, eating, and eating.  And did  I mention eating?  A lot.  At least 6 times a day.  The Chinese are very proud of their food, too,  so you have to join and eat all of your food to avoid offending anyone.  This can be difficult when you’re body isn’t used to it and you’re not, well, Chinese.  But it was a great experience nonetheless.  I got to try frog, jellyfish, sea cucumber (which I am still really confused about–Did I eat meat or a vegetable?), and plenty of tripe from cows and water buffalo.  I’m sure I’m forgetting some of the other weird stuff, too.  And if didn’t have weird ingredients, they can make it taste weird.  Very interesting stuff.  These eating adventures is what we did most of the trip with our country coordinator, Rev Laura’s, extended family.  We ate home cooked food and went out to eat.

In Bandung we saw a great Angklung and traditional Sundanese dance concert.  Angklung is kind of like traditional Indonesia hand bells.  Each person can only play a few notes at a time and they all combine to make a kind of orchestra.  They are little bamboo instruments that you shake vigorously to make them sound.  If you’re advanced, they also have their equivalent of bell trees–anklung stands.  They also did many beautiful traditional dances, including my favorite, the circumcision dance, done to distract recent circumcees (again, I’m making up words) from their excruciating pain.

Indonesia is more of what you might expect when heading to a third world country in Southeast Asia to do volunteer work.  Malaysia is quite calm and fairly developed.  Indonesia has much more evidence of poverty.  The streets are chaotic and the traffic is the worst I’ve ever seen.   So it’s more raw and exciting, but more intimidating as well. Malaysia and Indonesia share a lot in common.  Their language is 80% the same and they often fight over who invented such cultural gold mines as batik.   In reality, Malaysians mostly have Indonesians to thank for these things because much of Malaysia was settled by Indonesians, but don’t tell them that.  It was great to get to see a bit of Indonesia to get a fuller taste of the context and history of Malaysia.

CHINESE NEW YEAR

Chinese New Year is a two week long celebration (yes, they spend 4% of their year celebrating the new year), so after my week of feasting in Indonesia, I still had plenty of celebrating to do when I got back to Sabah.  Like in Indonesia, Malaysian Chinese New Year is all about eating too much.  Jireh Home’s Chinese “House Auntie,” Patricia, always takes me under her wing when she believes there’s an important cultural even I shouldn’t miss.   This was no exception.  She brought me to her home for a wonderful Chinese meal, her husband’s family reunion dinner at a restaurant called “Supertanker,” a Jireh Home CNY meal, and two CNY events in KK with all of Jireh Home.  Both of the those events had tons of food, Chinese acrobats, singing, dragon and lion dances, and the president of the Chinese Malaysian Political Party.  They definitely know how to put on a show.  The kids from Jireh Homes performed a few traditional CNY songs at one of the events.

All the feasting and celebrating is to bring prosperity for the next year.  It’s the year of the Tiger, and that’s a good sign for this year.  All the money and time that goes into celebrating reflects the Chinese belief that you get back what you put in.  This is really exemplified by ampao which is little red envelopes full of cash that working adults give to children and single young adults.  I even got some ampao–about $25 !  Just handing out cash to every young person you see is a challenging concept for Westerners.  But I like the Chinese belief that generosity will come back in one form or another.  This is just what Jesus teaches us, too: to be generous with our love and our wealth, not expecting in return, and we will surely be repaid someday in some form–maybe not in this life, but some time.

PRAY FOR RAIN

I live in what it supposed to be a rainforest.  But we haven’t had rain in over a month and a half.  It is the dry season, but it’s not supposed to be this dry.  The sky is hazy with smoke, plants are dying, wildfires are a daily occurrence, and people often wear face masks to keep dust and smoke out.  The midwest has had a really strange winter and Sabah is slowly turning from a rainforest to a desert.  Global warming is real, and we need rain soon badly.  So please pray, and walk instead of driving today.

COUCHSURFING+WILDFIRE=SOCCER FIELD

I am a member of an online community called couchsurfing.  It’s a network for travelers to meet people they can stay with on their journeys in order to get a more authentic view of the place they are visiting and avoid hotels and hostels.  This last week I hosted my first couchsurfer: a guy my age named Rob from Wisconsin.  He likes to do charity work while he travels, so by staying with me he could work at Jireh Home.  He told me he was particularly interested in building something.  Fortunately, Rommy, Jireh Home’s driver, and I had just started building a soccer field for the kids.  They don’t have any open green space to play in at the moment.  So when Rob came, we spent three days cutting 4-foot tall grass with weed-whackers, picking rocks, hoeing stumps, and getting sunburned.  It was hot, slow-going, and difficult, but enjoyable nonetheless.  It got really exciting on the second day when we had to burn all the grass we had cut down.  As it hasn’t rained at all recently, this was very easy.  Too easy.  Despite our efforts to build a perimeter to prevent the fire from spreading, a strong wind picked up and some of the surrounding field caught fire and spread quickly.  Luckily, we were prepared with 20 jungle-wise kids armed with green branches to stamp out the fire.  It was not easy though.  We were panicking for a while and it wasn’t looking hopeful.  It took about two hours to get it all back out.  Calling the fire department wasn’t a good option because we would have been fined for starting a fire in dry season.  After the fire went out and we were all covered in ashes, an amazing sunset came out as if God was saying that he’s watching over us and keeping us from harm.

That night the fire started again from some smoldering grass.  We had tried our best to put out all the smoldering patches, but it’s nearly impossible to get everything. Again, God was watching for us and Rommy happened to outside just at the right moment and heard the crackling of flames just beginning.  We got it out before it spread very far.

The next morning, Rob and I were hoeing the field and cleaning up the burnt grass.  Once a gain, a smoldering patch caught fire.  Rob and I saw it right away and went to stamp it out, but just as we did so, a huge gust of wind came and the fire jumped again into the field.  This time, there were only two of us to fight it and we had no chance.  Not so lucky this time, we had to call the fire department.  But as God continued to show us mercy, the fire department let us off the hook of what should have been a hefty fine.   And the best part of the whole thing is, now we have room for not just a soccer field, but also a volleyball court, a takrow (Malaysian traditional sport; kind of a combination of hackey sack and volleyball) court, and a badminton court!

EARWIG

No one got hurt.   Well, seriously anyway.  While fighting the third fire, a bug tried to fly into my ear to escape the heat of the fire.  I swatted it away, but it came back, and this time got in.  It was one of the most painful things I’ve experience when it tried to fly in my ear canal.  I had to continue fighting the fire though and didn’t get to the doctor for a few hours.  The local doctor confirmed the insects presence and tried to remove it but only succeeded in making my ear bleed.  He said I would need to go to a specialist in KK.  So, I waited till the next day and went to a hospital.  Again, God blessed me because one of the Jireh Home Board members, an opthamologist, just happened to walk by and see me and recognized me.  She called the ENT and got him to squeeze me in during his lunch hour.  Otherwise, I would have been stuck with a 1.5 cm bug in my ear until Monday.  With a water-squirting and suctioning device, like they use at the dentist, and a few shots of novacaine in my ear canal, they sucked it out.  It’s a little sore, but they said there should be no damage.  They let me keep the bug and some pictures they took of it lodge in my ear!  Besides that, the only injury I incurred was some burned hair.  I think it’s a unique look so I’m keeping it.

RELATIONSHIPS:

My relationships with the kids and with the staff at Jireh Home have deepened greatly over the past few months.  For the first time, the children are willing to open up to me.  The culture is very reserved.  They normally do not share feelings or personal philosophies, or comfort each other in their times of need.  I try to at least fulfill that final component for the kids when they are upset.  Maybe I’m imposing my Western ideas on them but I truly feel that if someone is crying because they miss their mom back home in their village, they should get a hug.  For the longest time, I wasn’t sure if my comforting was appreciated or was just uncomfortable because they do not respond with likewise behavior.  But as I have gotten to know the kids better and the staff, I have learned through subtle indications that this is appreciated and that’s why most everyone here is now willing to come to me when they need something educational, social, emotional, or spiritual.  This is what I’ve wanted to be this whole time.  I don’t want to be a “teacher” and keep that dominant-subordinate relationship.  I want to be a mentor and a friend, and that’s finally happening.

REFLECTION:

I arrived in Malaysia in the middle of Chinese Festival of the Ghosts and Islamic Ramadan, foreboding omens for the year.  Now, halfway through the year, I made it to Chinese New Year and the Prophet Mohammed’s Birthday, much happier celebrations.  And accordingly, things are going very well.  It is strange to start counting down to my return home rather than counting up from the time I left home.  It no longer feels like I have a long time left in Malaysia.  Rather, I’m starting to feel I’m quickly running out of time to do the things I want to do for fun and for the kids I work with.  I’ve reached the perfect point where nothing catches me off guard anymore, but everything is still fresh and new for me.  I’m no longer uncomfortable in any situation.  I have learned so much here about Sabah and about myself.  I’m excited to keep learning for a few more months and then I will be more than ready to share what I’ve learned back home.

Malaysians feel with their livers: and other funny things about Malaysians and their language

So this is just a fun post of random observations about Malaysian culture and language.  Nothing is supposed to be negative.  If it seems like I’m making fun, well, I am, but Malaysians would readily agree with what I am saying and find it funny, too.

• In English, we use say feelings come from our “hearts,” though we know they don’t literally.  Feelings come from our brains.  In Malay, however, instead of “heart” they say “hati,” which literally means “liver.”  Funny organ to feel with.  Heart is actually “jantung.”
• Malaysia has lots of great fruits.  So maybe they use “buah” (fruit) in combination with so many other words to give them new meaning.  Here are a few examples (this gets a little raunchy, so be forewarned):
• Buah Hati–Fruit of Heart (ok, actually “liver”)–a girlfriend or boyfriend
• Buah Fikiran–Fruit of Thinking–an idea
• Buah Dada–Fruit of the Chest–breasts
• Buah Zakar–Fruit of the Penis–testicles
• Sandwiches leave a lot to be desired in Malaysia because it’s a rice culture.  Lots of times you’ll just get two pieces of bread with margarine and a kind of coconut and egg spread (better than it sounds).  That’s called “roti kahwin,” which literally means “married bread.”
• Malay is heavily influenced by English because of the long British rule here.  So there are a lot of English words in Malay.  But in Malay, verbs have to have a prefix and/or suffix for them to be used properly, so you get a lot of funny sounding English words with goofy prefixes.  Here a few examples (aggressively roll your r’s to get maximum hilarity):
• Berbuli–to bully someone
• Berjoging–to go jogging
• Bersnorkel–to go snorkeling
• Speaking of jogging, Malaysian jogging is amusing.  Malaysians are pretty lazy.  And they’ll admit that, so I’m not being mean by saying that.  Look at any of their sports teams.  And the most popular sport here is probably ping-pong–not exactly a workout.  I understand, too–it’s way to hot and humid to do any serious physical activity.  So when people go “berjoging” here,  it actually means running for about 2 minutes and then walking for 10.  Repeat this process for about 1/2 an hour.  When I’ve gone jogging with a few Malaysians, they are very confused and upset when don’t stop.
• Malay has a unique syllable that gets thrown in almost anywhere in a sentence.  “Lah.”  It comes at the end of a word–almost any word.  It  doesn’t really have any meaning.  I sort of emphasizes the word, but that’s about it.  There’s no equivalent in English, so don’t try to find one.  It’s like saying “I want to go to the mall-lah.”  “Yeah-lah, I want to go, too.” “I want to buy some new shoes-lah.”  It’s sounds really funny (at least to me).  And when they speak English, they’ll still use “lah” anywhere they would in Malay, which drives me insane.
• Unique to Sabah, in addition to “lah” they’ll throw in “bah.”  This has even less meaning than “lah.”  A popular Sabahan phrase is “Can-bah, if it’s you.”  They’ll even throw both of them in together: “Yeah-lah-bah.”
• Another thing unique to Sabah is “anu,” which is like saying “hmmm…”  What makes it funny though is that is sounds like a word.  Unlike “hmmm…,” which sticks out and is clearly not a word because it’s hummed, “anu” will be thrown in the middle of the sentence and you can’t tell if was meant to mean something or just a thought pause.  They will combine this with “bah” or “lah,” too.  For example, “anu-bah itu.”  The only word that has any meaning in that phrase is “itu,” which means “that” or “those.”  So it’s just a silly way of saying “that one” or “those.”
• One more thing unique to Sabah, and especially the area I am, is that when they don’t know how to make a proper verb for what they mean, they’ll add “kasih” in front of the verb, which literally means “love.”  For example, instead of “Weigh the paper down so it doesn’t blow away,” they’ll say “Love weight the paper down…”  Or instead of “Dry out the towels” they’ll say “Love dry the towels.”  Or instead of “Teach him how,” they’ll say “Love learn him how.”  Stuff like that.

Well, this wasn’t particularly reflective, but I hope you at least found it entertaining.  I head to Indonesia today to renew my visa.  I’ll be gone for one week in the Jakarta area with the other Malaysia YAGMs, our country coordinator, and her family.  Chinese New Year starts on Valentine’s Day, and that’s big deal.  I’ll be sure to blog about that and hopefully get some good pictures of Indonesia and CNY on my blog for you.  Hope all is well with all of you.  Peace be with you.